Wow, I have had some major aha moments over the last few days, but nothing like the dream I had last night. Without getting into the bizarre details of my dream, I made the very clear realization that it is time to let the old me die. I need to grieve for her, love her and send her on her way. The dream was also very symbolic of my role in my family as well as my tribe as a matriarch. This work I'm doing on myself is revealing a lot about what I have to offer others. But back to the theme for today's post: rebalancing.
Once of the things I've been working on is my sense of balance. The way I hold my body - the way I hold myself up physically as well as the emotional side of 'standing strong'. But first, the physiological aspect.
I have always had issues with posture and my back. A few years ago, I was introduced to the metaphysical meanings of physical ailments. The lower back issues relate to fear of losing your freedom when others need your help. Looking back, this has, in fact, always been a struggle for me. I felt selfish when I took time to restore my sense of Self by stepping away from my family, and there is a history of martyrdom in my matriarchal line that insists that we serve others before we care for ourselves. But I have always balked at that - and felt guilty for it. This is one thing I am definitely letting go of - that guilt over listening to what I intuitively know is right for me. In doing so, I'm working within my body to heal that emotion by focusing on my posture. I remind myself that I am strong enough to hold myself tall.
I think there's another element to the posture issue in that my body is different now than it has been, and my center of balance has shifted. I find that when I am standing tall, the energy flows through me better and my back doesn't hurt. Of course, that muscle still needs to heal, so I can't go back to my full workouts.
Well, I'm headed out for a week-end camping event with friends who love to party, so it will be another opportunity for me to test my boundaries, my resolve and my commitment to being healthy and balanced.
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