It was a long, rough summer for me, but here I am, staring down the barrel of Winter. The leaves have fallen, the weather is beginning to require at least a scarf and gloves, and I am spiritually in my hermit cycle. This is the time of year for deep thoughts. I spend time reviewing the year past to see what worked, what didn't, where I am now and where I want to go when spring pops her pretty head up sometime in March.
I recently acknowledged that I have gotten out of the habit of self-care. Mental illness does not take days off, so I have to be vigilant about making a daily commitment to care for my body, mind and spirit in one way, shape or form - however that looks. I am an early riser, regardless of time of year, what has happened the day or evening before, and regardless of time-zone. Without me-time first thing in the morning, I will still get up early, but I usually start right in on taking care of the house, making my husband lunches, cleaning up the messes we all left from the night before, and generally being of service. By about mid-morning, I get that all-too-familiar feeling of overwhelmedness and resentment.
A few weeks ago, I reintroduced the habit of going for a walk first thing in the morning and am reminded again, of the importance of getting in touch with my Self and my Purpose first thing in the morning. I love walks for many reasons, but let me share some impressions from my morning walk ritual:
Since moving into our house at the end of the lane, I have loved the fact that we live right on the railroad trail here in our town. It carries me to downtown in one direction, and the other direction takes me out to some of the most beautiful inner-city natural areas I know. This has become my happy place. Any time I am in nature, I find myself feeling more alive. The trail is the perfect blend of nature and community.
As soon as we moved in, I started running the trail at various times of day, but I found the morning-time is my favourite time to be on the trail. I have found my morning trail people to be an extension of community that I would otherwise not be a part of. These people are out there, rain or shine, walking their dogs, walking or running alone or in pairs, walking their children to school, walking to the grocery store, but they're all out there, doing the same thing I do. Some walk and talk together, some walk and talk on their phone, one man even walks with his transistor radio tucked into his pocket. I see the regulars biking to work, like I have done in years gone by, but the thing that has made the greatest impact is that they are out there, just like me. Although we each have our own agendas, be it simply getting from one place to another, or getting in touch with nature, or challenging our PR, we are 'out there'. We commune with nature and by extension, with each other.
By reintroducing this me-time, I have reminded myself of the essential, positive impact it has on my life. I reminds me to honour and recognize that on every level, my physical and mental health come absolutely FIRST. This was not always the case, and in this moment in time, the pull of other loved ones' issues compounded with my own battle with S.A.D. makes it particularly challenging to put myself first.
I spent many years putting others before myself. After all, isn't that the golden rule? But the reality is, I gave EVERYTHING away, and left nothing for myself. What I have finally learned and now BELIEVE is that I must keep myself running at top performance if I'm to be able to truly serve others. If I can spend even 30 minutes filling myself up first thing in the morning, I have so much more to offer others throughout the day. My perspective on what I can do, and what I need to do are much more balanced. I can say yes, and no, with grace and more ease than had I not taken that time to set my intention and remind myself of my purpose at the start of my day.
Morning walks or runs might not be for everyone, but I do believe that setting a specific time of day for focussed mental-health sessions and inner reflection will provide a framework to be able to stay grounded and focused on rocking your mission, whatever it is.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Monday, November 18, 2013
My Bulletproof Coffee and Fun With Meat
Today's post comes in the form of both recipe and running daily journal blog. I have spent too much time trying to craft the perfect post and neglected the point of blogging (for me), which is to keep a running journal of my personal wellness journey with the intention of better understanding myself and inspiring others to enjoy the journey of creating a better life for themselves.
So today, I woke up before dawn to meet my fitness fanatic friends at BSC for some deadlifting. What an awesome way to wake up! I crawled out of bed at about 6 (only snoozed ... once?), made my bulletproof coffee with a simple recipe of:
double scoop of decaf coffee, ground for 15-20 seconds, and aeropressed.
Add to this enough hot water for about 14 oz, and toss it in the blender with 1 Tbsp. coconut oil and 1/4 t. chipotle powder
If I'm lucky, I'll add a couple drops of pure cacao mass and maybe a drop or two of stevia.
Once blended to a light mocha froth, pour in your insulated mug and sip.
I say insulated mug because much of the heat of the drink is lost to the blending, but it usually cools it down just to perfect sipping, swirling temperature. The heat of the chipotle adds to the warming sensation in the winter, and to give my circulation a boost.
Now, it's on to the rest of my day. I am working back towards planning my workouts more in advance, now that our lives have started to level out. For today, I would like to work out again, but I lifted heavy today and I get wicked DOMS, so I need to pace myself.
Since starting to actually lift heavy more often and using machines less, I am finding some interesting changes. It's all mixed in with elements of post traumatic stress from the turmoil of our lives this summer, but I suddenly gained 5 lbs this last (menstrual) cycle. My clothes are fitting tighter, and I don't like that, so even if it's muscle, I need to lean out just a touch. I am working towards that as well.
This is the season for me to be re-evaluating, setting new long term goals and reviewing the ones I am just not paying attention to, and adjusting them. This week, I've been practicing writing more stuff down and not using my phone as much. I made myself a perfect layout for all the things I want to keep track of, and I'm practicing with it, to be sure I've got all elements covered. That's enough for now.
---
It's mid-afternoon and I'm settling in to relax while I wait for my latest experiment to finish cooking. I have some cleansing soup that had been sitting in the fridge, which means nobody wanted to eat it except me. I also had 4 lbs of ground turkey that had been thawing in the fridge for the last 2 days and was ready to use.
I did what I usually do: I looked up a recipe for what I sort-of wanted and then started inventing. This is what I came up with. If you care to replicate it somehow, I'd recommend just using 2 c. cooked grain and and 2 c. cooked cruciferous veggies and onion/leek/shallots. My soup had cooked kashi, cabbage, onion, leeks and ginger/lemon/garlic spice.
4 lbs. ground turkey
4 c. cooked soup
5 eggs
1 whole onion, chopped
1/2 leek, chopped
1/2 c. oat flour (or you could use another kind of flour)
16 oz can of diced tomatoes in adobo sauce (Muir Glen)
1 c. tapatio
1 t. granulated garlic (or garlic powder)
2 t. cayenne
1 t. chipotle powder
heaping Tbsp. paprika
1 t. oregano
1 t. basil
Salt and pepper to taste
I could give you detailed instructions on the best way to blend the ingredients together, but half the fun is experimenting! If you need a couple hints:
So today, I woke up before dawn to meet my fitness fanatic friends at BSC for some deadlifting. What an awesome way to wake up! I crawled out of bed at about 6 (only snoozed ... once?), made my bulletproof coffee with a simple recipe of:
double scoop of decaf coffee, ground for 15-20 seconds, and aeropressed.
Add to this enough hot water for about 14 oz, and toss it in the blender with 1 Tbsp. coconut oil and 1/4 t. chipotle powder
If I'm lucky, I'll add a couple drops of pure cacao mass and maybe a drop or two of stevia.
Once blended to a light mocha froth, pour in your insulated mug and sip.
I say insulated mug because much of the heat of the drink is lost to the blending, but it usually cools it down just to perfect sipping, swirling temperature. The heat of the chipotle adds to the warming sensation in the winter, and to give my circulation a boost.
Now, it's on to the rest of my day. I am working back towards planning my workouts more in advance, now that our lives have started to level out. For today, I would like to work out again, but I lifted heavy today and I get wicked DOMS, so I need to pace myself.
Since starting to actually lift heavy more often and using machines less, I am finding some interesting changes. It's all mixed in with elements of post traumatic stress from the turmoil of our lives this summer, but I suddenly gained 5 lbs this last (menstrual) cycle. My clothes are fitting tighter, and I don't like that, so even if it's muscle, I need to lean out just a touch. I am working towards that as well.
This is the season for me to be re-evaluating, setting new long term goals and reviewing the ones I am just not paying attention to, and adjusting them. This week, I've been practicing writing more stuff down and not using my phone as much. I made myself a perfect layout for all the things I want to keep track of, and I'm practicing with it, to be sure I've got all elements covered. That's enough for now.
---
It's mid-afternoon and I'm settling in to relax while I wait for my latest experiment to finish cooking. I have some cleansing soup that had been sitting in the fridge, which means nobody wanted to eat it except me. I also had 4 lbs of ground turkey that had been thawing in the fridge for the last 2 days and was ready to use.
I did what I usually do: I looked up a recipe for what I sort-of wanted and then started inventing. This is what I came up with. If you care to replicate it somehow, I'd recommend just using 2 c. cooked grain and and 2 c. cooked cruciferous veggies and onion/leek/shallots. My soup had cooked kashi, cabbage, onion, leeks and ginger/lemon/garlic spice.
4 lbs. ground turkey
4 c. cooked soup
5 eggs
1 whole onion, chopped
1/2 leek, chopped
1/2 c. oat flour (or you could use another kind of flour)
16 oz can of diced tomatoes in adobo sauce (Muir Glen)
1 c. tapatio
1 t. granulated garlic (or garlic powder)
2 t. cayenne
1 t. chipotle powder
heaping Tbsp. paprika
1 t. oregano
1 t. basil
Salt and pepper to taste
I could give you detailed instructions on the best way to blend the ingredients together, but half the fun is experimenting! If you need a couple hints:
- whisk eggs before adding them with anything else
- mix dry ingredients and wet ingredients separately before adding them together
- Just take off your rings, and get your hands IN THERE
Making meatloaf reminds me of when I used to make bread every week by hand. It is meditative and visceral and really brings that secret ingredient (you know... love!) to your creation.
I had so much meat, I decided to play a little:
I am ending this evening with snuggles and yummy tea.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Summer Wrap-Up and Preparations for the 'dark months'
My spiritual tradition* involves following the cycles of the seasons as closely as possible, in mind, body and spirit. One of the most important times of the year for me is the time from about the Autumnal Equinox (in late September) until sometime around my birthday in January. During this time, I recap what I've learned from my experiences, how it's affected my life and the lives of my loved ones, how to integrate this knowledge into my reality, and begin to lay the groundwork for the coming year.
As I celebrated my 42nd birthday this past January, I knew** this year would bring amazing and wonderful changes to my life. Yet, my year just seemed to plug along in the usual fashion: working, my partner working more, working out, running a home and continuing to bio-and eso-hack my life*** . By late spring, I started to get antsy. I challenged my partner to a mud race and we did it, but I didn't feel that moment of 'aha. THIS is it!' that I usually get when completing a challenge. So I kept plugging along. Work was a struggle with significant barriers to being able to do the work I do best in that kind of office position, and I was becoming bored with most of the things I enjoyed. And then ... things started to change.
I got laid off in June. It wasn't a huge surprise and I was a little sad to see that chapter end, but again, I knew** that things were finally taking off. I was looking forward to a couple months of unemployment benefits to keep us financially afloat, and I could really dive into where I should put my efforts next. Time off work would allow me to take care of some lingering projects at home and perhaps do some travelling and adventuring. Maybe my big break was finally coming - so I could finally start my career path without the lingering hassle of a 'pay the bills' job.
As it turned out, I was almost immediately offered the opportunity to work full-time in the field of health/wellness. I gave up my opportunity to collect unemployment and revel in summer, only to realize the job I took was, a) not what I expected (we'll just leave it at that), and b) not worth the effort for the measly paycheck I got (which was barely more than I was making at my previous part-time job!). It appeared that I had taken a risk that landed me right on my ass. But I learned from it and put most of the negative aspects from that experience behind me.
I spent what was left of my summer trying to cram as much of the 'fun stuff' that I had originally planned into the remaining weeks of sunshine and long-ish days. My partner and I went camping with friends and family, we biked, we hiked, I lounged in the sun and read up on whatever I wanted, and kept a house going, which I manage to both love with a passion, and hate with a hot, flaming, impotent rage. Meanwhile, my partner's life was being turned upside down and we spent the final weeks of summer and into the first weeks of autumn working to get to his breakthrough.
So here we are in October as things are finally manifesting. It looks as if a move is imminent, I will be going back to the full-time 'Office Space' job, and my partner will be the one with a completely new career. Yep, the big career breakthrough I saw turned out to be my husband's, and my biggest lesson this summer has been all about learning to love my inner-self and to hold joy as my guiding light.
I will admit, my gusto and adventurous spirit from earlier in the year has taken a bit of a blow due to events of this summer/autumn, and today I hit a real feeling of helplessness. One thing I'm finding is that I have a lot of anger and frustration around 'having' to go back to work in a field I am not passionate about, especially when I AM so passionate about other fields. I want to compare my experience with my husband's for justification, but that no longer serves me. I am realizing I have become a person who is living intentionally. I have all the power in my reality, and 'have to' or 'want to' has little relevance when I know that my highest purpose is to find joy. I have goals and plans and visions for my future, but if my steps toward that make my every day miserable, then something has to give.
I am finding a lot of clarity in this moment of vulnerability. Life is too precious for me to wallow for too long. I am learning to feel my feelings and just be with them. When I can feel them clearly and then look with love and acceptance for the source, I usually find them being held by a younger woman, a girl, or even a baby that was once my reality. But I'm 'through the veil' and I can now turn and offer love to my younger Self and remind her that she is loved and she is safe. All is well. And let that feeling go.
I'm not sure yet what next year will bring, but as things shift, we will find our way. I will keep moving forward, my partner and I will wrap up this year's intentions and actions, we will celebrate in the darkest months, and as spring begins to emerge, we will be onto our next set of adventures.
Health and Wellness continues to be my passion, so I will continue to share what I learn both intuitively and scholastically. But I'm open to whatever that looks like.
----
* Spiritual, as opposed to religious.
** Knowing in the intuitive sense. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intuitive_knowledge
*** Many people know what bio-hacking is, (it's learning new information about health/wellness and trying things on yourself to see if they work for you), but I do the same with my inner/spiritual life, hence the term eso-hacking. (thought my daughter might like that invented word)
As I celebrated my 42nd birthday this past January, I knew** this year would bring amazing and wonderful changes to my life. Yet, my year just seemed to plug along in the usual fashion: working, my partner working more, working out, running a home and continuing to bio-and eso-hack my life*** . By late spring, I started to get antsy. I challenged my partner to a mud race and we did it, but I didn't feel that moment of 'aha. THIS is it!' that I usually get when completing a challenge. So I kept plugging along. Work was a struggle with significant barriers to being able to do the work I do best in that kind of office position, and I was becoming bored with most of the things I enjoyed. And then ... things started to change.
I got laid off in June. It wasn't a huge surprise and I was a little sad to see that chapter end, but again, I knew** that things were finally taking off. I was looking forward to a couple months of unemployment benefits to keep us financially afloat, and I could really dive into where I should put my efforts next. Time off work would allow me to take care of some lingering projects at home and perhaps do some travelling and adventuring. Maybe my big break was finally coming - so I could finally start my career path without the lingering hassle of a 'pay the bills' job.
As it turned out, I was almost immediately offered the opportunity to work full-time in the field of health/wellness. I gave up my opportunity to collect unemployment and revel in summer, only to realize the job I took was, a) not what I expected (we'll just leave it at that), and b) not worth the effort for the measly paycheck I got (which was barely more than I was making at my previous part-time job!). It appeared that I had taken a risk that landed me right on my ass. But I learned from it and put most of the negative aspects from that experience behind me.
I spent what was left of my summer trying to cram as much of the 'fun stuff' that I had originally planned into the remaining weeks of sunshine and long-ish days. My partner and I went camping with friends and family, we biked, we hiked, I lounged in the sun and read up on whatever I wanted, and kept a house going, which I manage to both love with a passion, and hate with a hot, flaming, impotent rage. Meanwhile, my partner's life was being turned upside down and we spent the final weeks of summer and into the first weeks of autumn working to get to his breakthrough.
So here we are in October as things are finally manifesting. It looks as if a move is imminent, I will be going back to the full-time 'Office Space' job, and my partner will be the one with a completely new career. Yep, the big career breakthrough I saw turned out to be my husband's, and my biggest lesson this summer has been all about learning to love my inner-self and to hold joy as my guiding light.
I will admit, my gusto and adventurous spirit from earlier in the year has taken a bit of a blow due to events of this summer/autumn, and today I hit a real feeling of helplessness. One thing I'm finding is that I have a lot of anger and frustration around 'having' to go back to work in a field I am not passionate about, especially when I AM so passionate about other fields. I want to compare my experience with my husband's for justification, but that no longer serves me. I am realizing I have become a person who is living intentionally. I have all the power in my reality, and 'have to' or 'want to' has little relevance when I know that my highest purpose is to find joy. I have goals and plans and visions for my future, but if my steps toward that make my every day miserable, then something has to give.
I am finding a lot of clarity in this moment of vulnerability. Life is too precious for me to wallow for too long. I am learning to feel my feelings and just be with them. When I can feel them clearly and then look with love and acceptance for the source, I usually find them being held by a younger woman, a girl, or even a baby that was once my reality. But I'm 'through the veil' and I can now turn and offer love to my younger Self and remind her that she is loved and she is safe. All is well. And let that feeling go.
I'm not sure yet what next year will bring, but as things shift, we will find our way. I will keep moving forward, my partner and I will wrap up this year's intentions and actions, we will celebrate in the darkest months, and as spring begins to emerge, we will be onto our next set of adventures.
Health and Wellness continues to be my passion, so I will continue to share what I learn both intuitively and scholastically. But I'm open to whatever that looks like.
----
* Spiritual, as opposed to religious.
** Knowing in the intuitive sense. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intuitive_knowledge
*** Many people know what bio-hacking is, (it's learning new information about health/wellness and trying things on yourself to see if they work for you), but I do the same with my inner/spiritual life, hence the term eso-hacking. (thought my daughter might like that invented word)
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Week 2 - Off Kilter and paralyzed by information.
This is a personal post about my own path and getting off track. I'll do my best not to whine, but I feel like it's important to share my experience with battling my impulses this weekend and on into this week. I am having a hard time focusing on my goal. What is my goal? Why do I feel it's important enough to give my effort to it? Why am I pushing/pulling myself so hard?
My husband and I have each had our own big life lesson cycles this summer. I had no idea when I launched into the summer, that we would be entering this new phase of our lives. My experience was a month of of learning the 'dark side' of the fitness industry- mostly related to sales and the financial aspect of the industry, but also the one-sidedness of focusing on the physical body above all else. I came away from that realizing my body has a LOT to tell me about how I'm doing socially, spiritually and mentally, and that all the lifting, swinging and running in the world will not solve my feeling of isolation, and can actually sometimes feed my social anxiety as I become less 'average' than most my age. I am still sorting through it all, but I came away from that experience knowing my purpose is to help others heal, balance and optimize their lives and that I do poorly making my financial return the primary impetus for choosing how I make my way in the world. That said, I do like my lifestyle, so what's a girl to do? Flash forward to my husband's life lesson last week. MY role in his experience was to support him with all the tools I have at my disposal, which included massive food prep, mad telephone skills and the patience to listen (not-so) calmly as he shared with me his own lessons. It was also a very important lesson for me in offering suggestions, but not insisting things be the way I see them playing out. He made many important discoveries that, had I nagged, he may not have learned so profoundly. I also felt quite helpless as he spun out into places of fear and anxiety (which I struggle with daily in my own head).
Last week was 'get back on track' with the Whole30 while he was gone, but left to my own devices with my nebulous daily schedule, I have not made the commitment to Whole30 like I thought I would, and even my workouts have become hit or miss. Because my schedule has me 'playing house' most of the day, I would find myself repeatedly eating more than I need because I love to cook and I love to eat and every little inspiration or craving had me back in the kitchen feeding that love. However, I ended up also feeding my cravings as well as my loneliness and my boredom. As a result, I am feeling like I have failed myself in this latest challenge. Although I am staying away from alcohol, wheat and sugar, corn made an appearance this weekend, as did cocoa, and I again reminded myself that dairy doesn't serve me well in most cases. Corn is a definite 'no', but I have decided that for me, raw cacao, cacao butter and dark cocoa powder (raw, natural, etc.) is allowed, even welcomed into my diet - in moderation. I allow myself 2 t. cacao powder in my coffee in the morning and in my Paleo nuggets at night (two nuggets maximum!).
There's more to this exploration, though. I am fighting the line between obsessing about my food and wantonly eating with abandon. We are so fortunate to have a surplus of food most of the time, but the reality is that there is still a lot in our 'healthy' cupboards that may or may not benefit our overall health and that is what is most puzzling to me.
This morning as I once again woke up berating myself for 'not doing' what I thought I should, I realized that my parameters for what is 'good' is the thing that is driving me crazy. There is a point at which opposing information can paralyze a person. So here I sit, drinking Spark and Emergen-C (But it's laden with chemicals!) and cold herbal tea to calm my stomach after too much dairy (but it's pasture-raised whey protein!) and craving eggs (but many people are sensitive to egg protein - am I one of them?!) and thinking about what to prepare for our supper tonight (but our meat isn't pasture raised!... but it's free to us so we are not 'supporting' agribusiness... or are we?!). All this whilst I watch the minutes tick away until I know I must do a workout (do I run or do I swing 'bells in my backyard?! Don't want to blow it all out because I have ladies night tonight!).
For the rest of the week, I am regrouping, reprioritizing and PUTTING TOGETHER A DAILY SCHEDULE. I need to let go of what doesn't serve me once and for all (Guilt, do you hear me?! This is your eviction notice!), and focus on my 'big rocks' to coin a Stephen Covey term (Check out the story behind the reference here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=to-DyF3AL3o).
Sometimes taking a step back to regroup is what is needed. I feel like I haven't adequately regrouped so I am still shotgunning my approach to my health - I'm hitting a few things but overall I'm just putting a lot of random energy out there and making a bit of a mess. Time to reel things in, get clear, get focussed and build the life I want.
I welcome insights, suggestions and encouragement on Facebook or via email, but for the remainder of the week, my blog will be silent until I can be clear about my plan. This is an act of respect for myself and my goals. And your time, because who wants to read a big long post about failure every week?
My husband and I have each had our own big life lesson cycles this summer. I had no idea when I launched into the summer, that we would be entering this new phase of our lives. My experience was a month of of learning the 'dark side' of the fitness industry- mostly related to sales and the financial aspect of the industry, but also the one-sidedness of focusing on the physical body above all else. I came away from that realizing my body has a LOT to tell me about how I'm doing socially, spiritually and mentally, and that all the lifting, swinging and running in the world will not solve my feeling of isolation, and can actually sometimes feed my social anxiety as I become less 'average' than most my age. I am still sorting through it all, but I came away from that experience knowing my purpose is to help others heal, balance and optimize their lives and that I do poorly making my financial return the primary impetus for choosing how I make my way in the world. That said, I do like my lifestyle, so what's a girl to do? Flash forward to my husband's life lesson last week. MY role in his experience was to support him with all the tools I have at my disposal, which included massive food prep, mad telephone skills and the patience to listen (not-so) calmly as he shared with me his own lessons. It was also a very important lesson for me in offering suggestions, but not insisting things be the way I see them playing out. He made many important discoveries that, had I nagged, he may not have learned so profoundly. I also felt quite helpless as he spun out into places of fear and anxiety (which I struggle with daily in my own head).
Last week was 'get back on track' with the Whole30 while he was gone, but left to my own devices with my nebulous daily schedule, I have not made the commitment to Whole30 like I thought I would, and even my workouts have become hit or miss. Because my schedule has me 'playing house' most of the day, I would find myself repeatedly eating more than I need because I love to cook and I love to eat and every little inspiration or craving had me back in the kitchen feeding that love. However, I ended up also feeding my cravings as well as my loneliness and my boredom. As a result, I am feeling like I have failed myself in this latest challenge. Although I am staying away from alcohol, wheat and sugar, corn made an appearance this weekend, as did cocoa, and I again reminded myself that dairy doesn't serve me well in most cases. Corn is a definite 'no', but I have decided that for me, raw cacao, cacao butter and dark cocoa powder (raw, natural, etc.) is allowed, even welcomed into my diet - in moderation. I allow myself 2 t. cacao powder in my coffee in the morning and in my Paleo nuggets at night (two nuggets maximum!).
There's more to this exploration, though. I am fighting the line between obsessing about my food and wantonly eating with abandon. We are so fortunate to have a surplus of food most of the time, but the reality is that there is still a lot in our 'healthy' cupboards that may or may not benefit our overall health and that is what is most puzzling to me.
This morning as I once again woke up berating myself for 'not doing' what I thought I should, I realized that my parameters for what is 'good' is the thing that is driving me crazy. There is a point at which opposing information can paralyze a person. So here I sit, drinking Spark and Emergen-C (But it's laden with chemicals!) and cold herbal tea to calm my stomach after too much dairy (but it's pasture-raised whey protein!) and craving eggs (but many people are sensitive to egg protein - am I one of them?!) and thinking about what to prepare for our supper tonight (but our meat isn't pasture raised!... but it's free to us so we are not 'supporting' agribusiness... or are we?!). All this whilst I watch the minutes tick away until I know I must do a workout (do I run or do I swing 'bells in my backyard?! Don't want to blow it all out because I have ladies night tonight!).
For the rest of the week, I am regrouping, reprioritizing and PUTTING TOGETHER A DAILY SCHEDULE. I need to let go of what doesn't serve me once and for all (Guilt, do you hear me?! This is your eviction notice!), and focus on my 'big rocks' to coin a Stephen Covey term (Check out the story behind the reference here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=to-DyF3AL3o).
Sometimes taking a step back to regroup is what is needed. I feel like I haven't adequately regrouped so I am still shotgunning my approach to my health - I'm hitting a few things but overall I'm just putting a lot of random energy out there and making a bit of a mess. Time to reel things in, get clear, get focussed and build the life I want.
I welcome insights, suggestions and encouragement on Facebook or via email, but for the remainder of the week, my blog will be silent until I can be clear about my plan. This is an act of respect for myself and my goals. And your time, because who wants to read a big long post about failure every week?
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Day 2 - Slow re-adjustment
Yesterday was a stressful day for me personally. I had a lot to do and a lot on my mind. However, I managed to keep to the eating plan. I actually ended up stretching my eating times out so I 'missed' a meal. However, I did not have an intense workout in the mix - I went for a run, but no heaving lifting, so that 5th meal wasn't necessary.
I ended up with an empty tank at about 8:45 or so, and woke up this morning feeling really well rested, but the body is stiff and sore. I had a massage yesterday, which helped but today is a pilates/yoga/walk day instead of the originally planned strength training day.
Foodwise, I've come up with some interesting combinations. In the fridge right now are the following READY TO EAT items (everything is homemade):
I ended up with an empty tank at about 8:45 or so, and woke up this morning feeling really well rested, but the body is stiff and sore. I had a massage yesterday, which helped but today is a pilates/yoga/walk day instead of the originally planned strength training day.
Foodwise, I've come up with some interesting combinations. In the fridge right now are the following READY TO EAT items (everything is homemade):
- Chicken breasts
- Whole chicken meat - deboned (mostly...)
- Almond milk
- Cooked collard green leaves, ready for wraps
- Roasted sweet potato, zucchini, carrot and onion topped with roasted beets
- blueberry vinnaigrette
- roasted strawberry vinaigrette
- ginger mayonnaise (the ginger was a happy accident - I grabbed it instead of mustard!)
- A HUGE bruised kale salad with shredded carrot, slivered red onion and cabbage
- Salmon Burgers
- sauerkraut
- chai tea
- boiled eggs
I think there may be a few other items in there I'm forgetting. However, today was a low-energy day. I am pretty sore and detox-y, so just a brisk walk this morning and some pilates this evening. It's been a tough day foodwise and a lot of old demons came back this evening but my last meal of the day had protein and was all Whole30 approved, so I stayed on track in that respect, and that's enough for today.
Monday, August 5, 2013
Next Chapter, Day One, Whole30 Paleo Lean-Down
Blame it on my creative and dramatic mother, but I like to imagine my life as a grand drama, played out in scenes and acts and chapters. This latest chapter comes after a fairly quick but deep shake-up in my world. I was laid off just as I was thinking it was time to make my next step, but not sure what that step was. I managed to land what seemed like a great transition job right out of the gate, transitioning from office admin-type work into the fitness/coaching realm. After literally dropping EVERYTHING that gave me strength, pleasure, meaning and purpose to put all my energy into the new job, I realized what I'd done: I'd given up all the things that gave me strength, pleasure, meaning and purpose for a job that was hollow and misguided. Fortunately, I have a phenomenal support system and I reached out into the Universe and pulled myself out of that mess after only a month of my life sacrificed to that important life lesson.
The stress of that energy shift and tidal wave of stress took its toll and many of my healthy habits that keep me running strong in body, mind AND spirit went by the wayside. Last week in my first week as a self-proclaimed housewife and life-coach-in-training, I did a double soul-retrieval (for the extra woo-woo out there), regrounded and just got back in touch with my body-mind-spirit feedback loop. I had to clean out a whole mess of guilt and shame over 'failing' so profoundly and using psychic alchemy, transform my 'failure' into a poignant and profound teachable moment for my Self. I did some edible soothing and claimed every bite of chocolate, every sip of wine and every handful of chips. Towards the end of last week, I met with my amazing think-tank of fellow women coaches-in-training, had some acupuncture done and started planning my re-entry into Healthy-land. (I've got to think of a better name...)
I made my friend, Shasonta's AMAZEBALLS cleansing smoothie yesterday (check it out at shasonta.wordpress.com) and cut out coffee and conventional sugars. Today it's a slow farewell to dairy and fruit sugars. You see, I forgot that little nugget when I was making my smoothie at 6am and tossed a 1/2 a banana and whey protein powder into my smoothie. I'm also weaning off the Flax milk I have as I feel it has too many additives for my version of Whole 30. The goal this time around is a bit different. It's a bit more specific.
While I truly appreciate and will continue to adhere to as much of the Whole 30 principles as possible, I want to blend it with what I have learned and what I love about the science of my own body. I love being able to track and measure crap. Maybe it's the OC tendencies or just keeping my monkey mind busy, but I believe this is a crucial way to bridge people from the idea of having to count calories and eat low fat to a more whole foods approach to losing weight AND gaining life-long health and fitness. In essence, I'm developing my own 'product'. This experiment will become my template for my Transformational Life Coaching packages. But I'm getting off on a tangent. Back to today....
Today, on day one of the "Whole 30 Paleo Lean-Down"(tm) , my whole body is messing with me - head to toe (literally). I am suffering the physical karma of eating crap for the last week. I am bloated, my elimination (aka: poop and pee) schedule is all over the place, my joints hurt and I have severe brain fog. But above all, my focus is to stay focused on my goal (performing a bodybuilder style lean-down using Whole30 principles) while practicing radical self-love. I am also using chinese medicine's food recommendations to help get things back in balance. This is very specific to my current issues and since I'm not well-versed in chinese medicine, I'll leave commentary on those food-choices to other blogger, writers and scientists.
I am documenting my food intake at MyFitnessPal.com and on Tumblr, I am posting weekly full-body shots of me in some shorts that I bought juuuust as I started gaining weight (about 6 weeks ago). Yes, I gained about 15 lbs since my last Whole30, and it is doubtful that much of that is muscle gain, although I managed to limp along with my workout routines. My workout routines can be found at Fitocracy.com under the username LullabyMoon, too, for the whole enchilada. This is serious, folks!
Next up: Morning Walks and HALTing
The stress of that energy shift and tidal wave of stress took its toll and many of my healthy habits that keep me running strong in body, mind AND spirit went by the wayside. Last week in my first week as a self-proclaimed housewife and life-coach-in-training, I did a double soul-retrieval (for the extra woo-woo out there), regrounded and just got back in touch with my body-mind-spirit feedback loop. I had to clean out a whole mess of guilt and shame over 'failing' so profoundly and using psychic alchemy, transform my 'failure' into a poignant and profound teachable moment for my Self. I did some edible soothing and claimed every bite of chocolate, every sip of wine and every handful of chips. Towards the end of last week, I met with my amazing think-tank of fellow women coaches-in-training, had some acupuncture done and started planning my re-entry into Healthy-land. (I've got to think of a better name...)
I made my friend, Shasonta's AMAZEBALLS cleansing smoothie yesterday (check it out at shasonta.wordpress.com) and cut out coffee and conventional sugars. Today it's a slow farewell to dairy and fruit sugars. You see, I forgot that little nugget when I was making my smoothie at 6am and tossed a 1/2 a banana and whey protein powder into my smoothie. I'm also weaning off the Flax milk I have as I feel it has too many additives for my version of Whole 30. The goal this time around is a bit different. It's a bit more specific.
While I truly appreciate and will continue to adhere to as much of the Whole 30 principles as possible, I want to blend it with what I have learned and what I love about the science of my own body. I love being able to track and measure crap. Maybe it's the OC tendencies or just keeping my monkey mind busy, but I believe this is a crucial way to bridge people from the idea of having to count calories and eat low fat to a more whole foods approach to losing weight AND gaining life-long health and fitness. In essence, I'm developing my own 'product'. This experiment will become my template for my Transformational Life Coaching packages. But I'm getting off on a tangent. Back to today....
Today, on day one of the "Whole 30 Paleo Lean-Down"(tm) , my whole body is messing with me - head to toe (literally). I am suffering the physical karma of eating crap for the last week. I am bloated, my elimination (aka: poop and pee) schedule is all over the place, my joints hurt and I have severe brain fog. But above all, my focus is to stay focused on my goal (performing a bodybuilder style lean-down using Whole30 principles) while practicing radical self-love. I am also using chinese medicine's food recommendations to help get things back in balance. This is very specific to my current issues and since I'm not well-versed in chinese medicine, I'll leave commentary on those food-choices to other blogger, writers and scientists.
I am documenting my food intake at MyFitnessPal.com and on Tumblr, I am posting weekly full-body shots of me in some shorts that I bought juuuust as I started gaining weight (about 6 weeks ago). Yes, I gained about 15 lbs since my last Whole30, and it is doubtful that much of that is muscle gain, although I managed to limp along with my workout routines. My workout routines can be found at Fitocracy.com under the username LullabyMoon, too, for the whole enchilada. This is serious, folks!
Next up: Morning Walks and HALTing
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Hiring a Housekeeper and rumblings of New Blog
For those who don't know, I recently was laid off. This was not a bad thing, but it was an abrupt wake-up to me that I had been 'cocooning' long enough and it was time to start the next leg of my journey. In a whirlwind of inspiration and openness to whatever came to me, I landed myself a new job. I basically ended my last day of work on my usual Thursday, and by the following Tuesday, I was offered a new job.
Since one of the things on my bucket list was to get certified to be a Personal Trainer, I applied for a Sales position that required a CPT but that said they would certify me. This was my big red neon sign flashing from the Universe that it was waiting for me to get to it. So, through the first week, I was studying, scrambling and testing for all my certifications (CPT, First Aid, Infant and Adult CPR and AED).
So here I am, officially in my second week, and am just barely now coming up for air. It's been a HUGE adjustment: New industry, new schedule, going from working 25 hrs on the clock to over 40, and to top it all off, I did a cleanse for the first 10 days of my employment as well as bike commuting again after 2 weeks off, and back at the gym after about 4 wks off. I barely know which way is up, but I am watching this weird and very cool metamorphosis of my priorities. I am realizing what a stranglehold I had on keeping order in my home, but I'm finding that I just can't keep it up.
You may say "You're getting older. I can't keep up". I see it more as "I'm getting older and I'm really honing in on how I prioritize my time and energy." It's a matter asking myself whether it's worth it to do the everyday cleaning of keeping up with my own standards, or let my standards go.
I chose option three: pay someone to keep up my standards. For many years, I made money cleaning other peoples' homes for pay as well as keeping up my own home. I know what hard but rewarding work it can be. I also know how far that extra money can go. When I was younger, I remember going to my aunt and uncle's and they were picking up their toys because their housekeeper was coming that day. I thought them terribly rich, extravagant - and I am somewhat ashamed to admit - wasteful. Now, here I am, weighing what is 'extravagant' against my sanity and my commitment to the task at hand of moving forward on my journey.
With all these changes, and these new insights from all this new stimuli, I feel like the title 'Edible Discoveries' no longer captures the essence of all my discoveries of late. However, I don't want narrow my blog to only one topic. I'm not sure exactly what the 'theme' of the next blog will be, but it will be under the title of Artemis Moon Journeys. For more about why I have named the new blog as such, please visit the new blog - once it's up - at: www.artemismoonjourneys.blogspot.com
I'll try to resurface soon, and post a few more recipe/foodie ideas here and let you know when we anticipate the official 'grand opening' of the new blog.
Since one of the things on my bucket list was to get certified to be a Personal Trainer, I applied for a Sales position that required a CPT but that said they would certify me. This was my big red neon sign flashing from the Universe that it was waiting for me to get to it. So, through the first week, I was studying, scrambling and testing for all my certifications (CPT, First Aid, Infant and Adult CPR and AED).
So here I am, officially in my second week, and am just barely now coming up for air. It's been a HUGE adjustment: New industry, new schedule, going from working 25 hrs on the clock to over 40, and to top it all off, I did a cleanse for the first 10 days of my employment as well as bike commuting again after 2 weeks off, and back at the gym after about 4 wks off. I barely know which way is up, but I am watching this weird and very cool metamorphosis of my priorities. I am realizing what a stranglehold I had on keeping order in my home, but I'm finding that I just can't keep it up.
You may say "You're getting older. I can't keep up". I see it more as "I'm getting older and I'm really honing in on how I prioritize my time and energy." It's a matter asking myself whether it's worth it to do the everyday cleaning of keeping up with my own standards, or let my standards go.
I chose option three: pay someone to keep up my standards. For many years, I made money cleaning other peoples' homes for pay as well as keeping up my own home. I know what hard but rewarding work it can be. I also know how far that extra money can go. When I was younger, I remember going to my aunt and uncle's and they were picking up their toys because their housekeeper was coming that day. I thought them terribly rich, extravagant - and I am somewhat ashamed to admit - wasteful. Now, here I am, weighing what is 'extravagant' against my sanity and my commitment to the task at hand of moving forward on my journey.
With all these changes, and these new insights from all this new stimuli, I feel like the title 'Edible Discoveries' no longer captures the essence of all my discoveries of late. However, I don't want narrow my blog to only one topic. I'm not sure exactly what the 'theme' of the next blog will be, but it will be under the title of Artemis Moon Journeys. For more about why I have named the new blog as such, please visit the new blog - once it's up - at: www.artemismoonjourneys.blogspot.com
I'll try to resurface soon, and post a few more recipe/foodie ideas here and let you know when we anticipate the official 'grand opening' of the new blog.
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