Whole30 Preparations

I have spent the better part of last night and today pondering what I'll be changing in the upcoming weeks. I feel like my focus is zeroing in and I'm ready to take on the next big challenge on this journey. It's a lot to take in, but it's a lot to look forward to as well. In thinking about the commitment I want to make to this process, I want to sort of have a 'farewell party' to the foods and habits I have loved for so long, but that no longer serve me.

Over the last 20 years, I've gone through a whole host of diets, restrictions, regimens and straight-up quackery. I was a vegetarian on and off for many years, and rarely have I had the desire to eat red meat (until very recently). About 10 years ago, I did a modified elimination diet to get to the root of what was making me feel like crap all the time - that's when I started to make the wheat connection. A few years later, I let go of milk (but not yogurt or cheese). I've taken sugar out of my diet for the most part. And in the last 6 months I've discovered corn really messes me up, and that I may have to give up yogurt. There was a while there I was totally caffeine-free, but in the last year I've realized the benefits outweigh the drawbacks for me, and I keep my intake to one really great cup of coffee a day. I've known for a while that peanut butter is not my gut's friend (although my tongue insists it is!). But there's more, and ultimately, I feel like my gut needs a tune-up again, so welcome Whole30 to the party.

On the Whole30, there are things I'm giving up, and things I'm welcoming back. On the list of things I will give up for the next 30 days are peanut butter, corn, dairy, and oats, quinoa and rice (for now). I've made my peace with sugar, but sugar alternatives like honey, maple syrup and even xylitol and stevia will be off the list for the next month. But I am VERY excited to start eating grass fed butter. I heard a first-hand account of how different it was from traditional butter and decided I would be willing to welcome it back with open arms. I welcome the addition of coconut butter which I now know I can make in my food processor and will be trying that tonight. Avocados take a more prominent role in my menus, along with grapefruit. Kale, chard and/or spinach remains in just about every meal I make, and fish and chicken certainly aren't going anywhere.

I am more than a little nervous about letting go of writing down exactly how much and what I eat. It's become such a fail-safe for me to make sure I get my macronutrients in the right amounts, and not under-eating either. But part of the Whole30 journey is reconciling my relationship with food, which means looking within for cues of real hunger versus desire. I'm not allowed to weigh or measure my food OR my body during the Whole30. It's a process, though, so if keeping a food diary is the thing I cling to in order to get through this, I accept that. I am more concerned about keeping the quality of foods to the highest standards over being diligent about writing everything down.

I spent the evening yesterday reveling in a bottle of sparkling white wine mixed with last night's leftover blood orange gelato, sweet potatoes with butter, coconut flakes and cinnamon, and a batch of popcorn with a steaming cup of coconut milk mocha on the side. This morning I woke up admittedly hung over from both the alcohol and the sugar (each has its own unique and annoying side-effects) but I feel at peace with these choices. I claimed my revelry and have no regrets, and I got what I wanted out of it - a clear reminder of WHY I am giving these things up. I'm 42 and have more than fleeting moments of truly amazing health where I feel like I'm in my 20s. I don't want to give that up to an urge to eat popcorn or a careless afternoon of grabbing a power bar because I'm too busy to make my own. But I know there are times in life when you pick the lesser of two evils (MacDonald's or the deli case at Safeway). Those times will come, but for the next 30 days, there are absolutely zero excuses: not the camping trip with our party friends, not the 40th birthday party for my husband, not the office 'happy hour'.

Today I will help my husband brine salmon, trout and halibut so he can make me jerky to snack on for the next week or two. We also have an epic hike planned with some of my amazing non-Whole30-compliant energy bars. Tomorrow will begin true preparations, but for today, I will continue to say goodbye to my beloved foods while looking forward to tomorrow, where I begin embracing the new.